Using the Women’s Bathroom for the First Time

When I get back to my desk, my body is so tense it feels
as if my skeleton, every organ and muscle will collapse
into a singularity, crushing my existence
into a calculated theory. But my shift has just started
and I can’t give up now, so I take a Clonazepam and a swallow
of water, put on the headset and resume captioning phone calls, my heart tripping over my lungs. My hands tense into fists and relax, my body
rocks, the head bobs. Looking at me, one might think
I’d been raped. No one would know what I’d really just done.

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