On The Road To Somewhere

Dear gods if you are kind and I choose to believe you are kind
will you lift the burden of our bodies at death if you are gods at all 
I won’t wait another second for your answer
I demand it now
I must know if we continue
if every pain we contain every love and desire and hope and vision
continues somehow somewhere my gods
if you have any decency at all you will tell me
so that I can sleep tonight I demand you tell me
tell me you will give us time when we’re gone
a year or two
a decade
ten lifetimes because you must be generous
what fool gods wouldn’t take away the distractions the lies
the cruel farce of our bodies
tell me so I can sleep for once without dreaming up what should be
my gods who didn’t create us
whose names and voices exist somewhere within
the cupboards in the brain
deep within the warped kitchens of our tortured consciousness
tell me you are kind
tell me you were human once and too small to contain yourself for long
tell me we continue
I can’t believe much longer
I must know is there peace in death
will we enjoy time and space to live
as we never could live while we were alive.

IMG_1855-1roadroadIMG_8641-1china_2china_7IMG_9193-7IMG_7046-2IMG_7123-1on the beachIMG_1855me_1san juan islandtina home_2Tynaeagle mountain_3sunset_1IMG_6186-2roadredwing blackbird1IMG_2443-1old town_10bird_5moon_2IMG_6175-1swallow_1


3 thoughts on “On The Road To Somewhere

    1. my trouble is I don’t believe in god or gods. I write to them because I don’t know what else to do. I also have to suspend my disbelief about an afterlife. but as a transgender woman, if I don’t imagine being freed of the body that has felt so wrong at times, I’d go mad. so I shout at the gods I don’t believe in. I imagine a time, when I’m finished here, that I get to be entirely what I am. But I’m lucky to be a poet. Imagination and reality trade places so often they might as well be the same.


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